Every now and then, the weight of my sons issues falls on me like a ton of bricks.
I’m so proud of the man he’s become, the obstacles that he’s overcome and the sense of humor and that he is who he is. Most of the time, his disabilities are in the background.
But every now and then, they seem to stand up straight and I realize both the depth and the width of what effects him.It often feels like a slap in the face.
It’s one of those times. His best friend from kindergarten graduated from high school. I’m reading all over facebook of my friends from high school going to their child’s graduation …
It is amazing how proud and happy I can be for them and so heartbroken I can be at the same time. My son has soo many goals, sooo many dreams and soo many plans … and yet …
Pulling him out of school last fall, I thought, was going to be one of the most difficult moments of parenthood and yet it wasn’t… knowing that my son isn’t going to wear the cap and gown ..and knowing that he is fully aware of the consequences of that is so much more painful.
I have no doubt that he will make it in life, he’s just got that drive to him. But it’s hard, and it’s always going to be hard .. and no amount of being terrific can lessen that hard.
The slap of reality has hit again … i know it will only be a matter of time till we’re beaming with pride over him .. but today, my heart breaks for him.